Conquest of Happiness - People

Quoting Russell, but modernizing some pronouns since old philosopher men liked using he/him. It's in the spirit of increasing happiness to apply Russell's observations to a more general audience.

"A friendly interest in persons is a form of affectionateness, but not the form which is grasping and possessive and seeking always an emphatic response. This latter form is very frequently a source of unhappiness. The kind that makes for happiness is the kind that likes to observe people and finds pleasure in their individual traits, that wishes to afford scope for the interests and pleasures of those with whom it is brought into contact without desiring to acquire power over them or to secure their enthusiastic admiration. The person whose attitude towards others is genuinely of this kind will be a source of happiness and a recipient of reciprocal kindness. One's relations with others, whether slight or serious, will satisfy both their interests and their affections; they will not be soured by ingratitude, since they will seldom suffer it and will not notice when they do.

The same idiosyncrasies which would get on another person's nerves to the point of exasperation will be to them a source of gentle amusement. They will achieve without effort results which another person, after long struggles, will find to be unattainable. Being happy in themself, they will be a pleasant companion, and this in turn will increase their happiness. But all this must be genuine; it must not spring from an idea of self-sacrifice inspired by sense of duty. A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. To like many people spontaneously and without effort is perhaps the greatest of all sources of personal happiness."