Birthday
Birthdays alone are nice. Back home, birthdays and any holidays really
were stressful for me because of my mother. She feels obligated to throw
parties because otherwise HER mother will get mad. My mom is a very
anxious person but she expresses it to others by yelling orders. Even if
we plan days ahead and help her all we can, my mother will find
SOMEthing to be anxious about and start yelling.
Anyways, that's the story about holidays back home. I drank a lot yesterday because it was a coworkers birthday. I woke up at 6am hungover and hungry so i went to dunkin for breakfast. Usually I eat dunkin on Fridays but decided I wanted it as a breakfast. I decided to go to work after sobering up a bit. I spent the day at work doing a lot of fixes for an HR application, and getting my code ready to push for tonight's release. I left early because the FCC allowed its employees to leave 3 hours ahead of time for the 4th of July holiday. I told my manager I was leaving and he said that doesn't apply to us, we're still accountable for 8 hours of work. I said ok then I left saying I'll work remotely.
I'm eating Panda Express for lunch since it's barely 2pm. This can be seen as a treat since I usually either pack lunch, eat from a vending machine, or get a falafel bowl. While eating, I started to wonder how I will treat myself, about how liberating the idea is to spend my day however I want without considering other people. Normally my birthdays were spent with my mom shouting orders and throwing a big party with a lot of relatives and friends and while that was nice it's not really how I'd like to spend my birthday. I've really enjoyed my birthdays with friends hanging out in my parents backyard. The difference this year is I have money, and my own apartment. I could buy anything I want, get a big fancy dinner just for me, walk around in peace without even having to worry if this is how I should spend my birthday. It's completely up to me. It feels liberating because I have a point of reference. You need to suffer to enjoy the time you are not suffering. Hell before heaven.
I'm planning to see Midsommar at 7pm then uber home. That's pretty much how I decided to spend my day. Visiting New York City this weekend will hopefully be fun. My uber driver last night is from New York City and he was giving a lot of recommendations for food I might try out.
Even though I enjoyed being alone, it feels a bit vacant. I went dancing about a week ago because my ID came in the mail and I wanted to celebrate by finally being able to go to a bar after not having an ID for close to a month. I started talking to a woman there, and she wanted her husband to come with her to dance but he didn't want to. She said they were both introverted, and I said "well, introverts need to socialize too right" and she said "Exactly" and all this was being shouted over New Order blasting because it was New Order dance party so I bought us shots and she didn't finish hers so I drank both of them and I asked her to dance and she said yes. Her name was Margaret.
Anyways, my point is that even though some people enjoy being alone in the moment, at the end of the day it's not a healthy way for someone to spend their life. The plot doesn't advance without struggle.
Anyways, that's the story about holidays back home. I drank a lot yesterday because it was a coworkers birthday. I woke up at 6am hungover and hungry so i went to dunkin for breakfast. Usually I eat dunkin on Fridays but decided I wanted it as a breakfast. I decided to go to work after sobering up a bit. I spent the day at work doing a lot of fixes for an HR application, and getting my code ready to push for tonight's release. I left early because the FCC allowed its employees to leave 3 hours ahead of time for the 4th of July holiday. I told my manager I was leaving and he said that doesn't apply to us, we're still accountable for 8 hours of work. I said ok then I left saying I'll work remotely.
I'm eating Panda Express for lunch since it's barely 2pm. This can be seen as a treat since I usually either pack lunch, eat from a vending machine, or get a falafel bowl. While eating, I started to wonder how I will treat myself, about how liberating the idea is to spend my day however I want without considering other people. Normally my birthdays were spent with my mom shouting orders and throwing a big party with a lot of relatives and friends and while that was nice it's not really how I'd like to spend my birthday. I've really enjoyed my birthdays with friends hanging out in my parents backyard. The difference this year is I have money, and my own apartment. I could buy anything I want, get a big fancy dinner just for me, walk around in peace without even having to worry if this is how I should spend my birthday. It's completely up to me. It feels liberating because I have a point of reference. You need to suffer to enjoy the time you are not suffering. Hell before heaven.
I'm planning to see Midsommar at 7pm then uber home. That's pretty much how I decided to spend my day. Visiting New York City this weekend will hopefully be fun. My uber driver last night is from New York City and he was giving a lot of recommendations for food I might try out.
Even though I enjoyed being alone, it feels a bit vacant. I went dancing about a week ago because my ID came in the mail and I wanted to celebrate by finally being able to go to a bar after not having an ID for close to a month. I started talking to a woman there, and she wanted her husband to come with her to dance but he didn't want to. She said they were both introverted, and I said "well, introverts need to socialize too right" and she said "Exactly" and all this was being shouted over New Order blasting because it was New Order dance party so I bought us shots and she didn't finish hers so I drank both of them and I asked her to dance and she said yes. Her name was Margaret.
Anyways, my point is that even though some people enjoy being alone in the moment, at the end of the day it's not a healthy way for someone to spend their life. The plot doesn't advance without struggle.